FROM THE HEART OF AN OFW

About  3 years ago, I was compelled to make a decision to pursue a career abroad to sustain the financial needs of my family.

To be an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) is most probably the archetype avenue of every filipino who would like to provide financially for their loved ones.

Leaving was never easy, in fact it’s the hardest feeling I've been through, primarily because I am a mother and to be away from my little one feels unbearable and sure it is. From the moment I stepped inside the NAIA airport and waved goodbye to my daughter and up to that instant I am seated on the plane, I’ve embraced melancholy. 

I can still remember when I was seated on the window side of the plane as it ascends, I was looking outside and I am telling myself, “this is it, there’s no turning back now”. Of course there’s no chance I could turn back anymore as we are feet above the ground and it would mean death if I do. Kidding aside, I was heavy hearted, I close my eyes and tried to convince myself that it will be okay and all the hurts I am feeling is just temporary and I will get use to it afterward. I have in my mind all practical reasons why I need to leave, this is a sacrifice I need to endure to give a better future my daughter deserves.

On the way, I am a bit worried about what awaits me in the foreign land where I will be working. I am afraid that I might as well experience maltreatment and abuse that some of our “kababayans” have suffered of, those that I usually see when watching news.

 I don’t want to go home in a box, lifeless, a cadaver. My goal is to be stable, save enough money for my daughter’s future, to have my own house and a small business to start with and be sucessful with it subsequently. Having only my faith and my dreams for my daughter with me, I valiantly go on and unfold my opportunity as an OFW.

Luckily, I was blessed to be employed in a very organize and human oriented company, working with caring professionals. My job hasn't been stressful but it was challenging enough for me to adjust at certain points.  I was being paid equally and on time. Not much of a hassle when it comes to work.  

“Home Sickness”, this is my daily struggle. It’s hard to fool yourself and pretend to be busy when you’re longing for an embrace of a True home.  It’s been 3 years and I thought I’ll get use to this emotion but I didn't. Yearning always feels like day one of my long journey.

There’s never a day I don’t miss my daughter, my nanay and tatay and my siblings, and when I miss them all I can do is to just close my eyes & bow my head, pray to god to bless me with more strength to make it through, to touch me with his healing hands so all the hurting s I'm feeling would just go away, to tell him that I trust in him and I believe that one day…all our sacrifices will pay off... one day I’ll see my family again and I’ll be wrapped around their loving arms and will be cuddled with their tightest hugs. ;)

SI BADETTE, ANG AKING KARIBAL

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Tawagin na lang natin sa pangalang Badette ang babaeng ito.

Sa 700+ friends ko sa Facebook, isa sya sa madalas na profile na aking ibinuview.

Tulad ngayon, Nag upload na naman sya ng bagong pictures sa facebook.

Ayos! May pagpefiestahan na naman ang aking mata sa pag suri ng kanyang anyo. Kung ano ang suot nyang blouse, sapatos, shorts o kung nakapantalon ba sya,kung anu man ang bitbit nyang bag, Kelangan kong ma check ang mga iyon!

Hindi yata ako papayag na mas in sya sakin. Lalo namang hindi ako papayag na matatalbugan nya ko sa pagandahan portion at pa astigan ng porma, hello? ako pa ba papakabog? Aba aba, Wala sa description sa CV ko ang ma ungusan ng iba partikular na ng babaitang ito!

Ang eksena, she went on a lunch & coffee date with her chums last Saturday. Wow, sounds sociable!

Agad agad kong chineck ang photos ng uploaded album nya na may title na “AN AFTERNOON DATE WITH MY SOUL SISTERS”. Ganun siguro ka “tight” ng bonding nila para tawagin nyang soul sisters ang dalawa nyang  friends na mga hindi naman kagandahan sa aking opinyon, pala ayos lang. Infairness, Nice album title ah.

Maayus ang pagkakamake up nya ngayon, Walang masyadong foundation. Normal na kasing tanawin sa previous photos nya ang parang nakapagmiryenda sya ng foundation. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero mukha sya laging humuhulas, masyado sigurong light para sa totoo nyang balat yung kulay ng foundation nya kaya konteng pawis lang, mukha nang natutunaw ang kanya mukha.  As usual, naka arko na naman ang kilay nya na guhitado ng eyeliner, rounded medium arch. Manipis.

Medyo sablay ang eye shadow nya, masyadong OA para sa okasyon, Neutral and plain ang ginamit nyang lipstick color, there’s nothing much going on, Boring. A lighter shade of pink blush on. Hindi akma ang mga koloreteng ikinulay nya sa kanyang kalakhang mukha. Sayang. Hindi sya kagandahan pero malakas ang karisma nya. May x factor ika nga. Kundangan lamang at maling pag aayos ang kanyang ginawa kaya hindi nabigyang hustisya ang kanyang charm.

She’s wearing a red & black checkered flowing sleeveless. Ummm, hindi nagcompliment sa morenang skin nya,  A khaki fitted trouser and a black flats, oversized (para sa kanyang height) na black handbag. Hindi ako na impress sa over all outfit nya. Tamang pang lunch o pang kape ang attire pero mali ang mga kombinasyon ng kulay at style ang kanyang ginamit. Hindi tulad nung mga nakaraang uploads nya. Napangisi ako, sa isip ko, “Mas kabog yung outfit ko nung huli ako nagpunta sa St*rbxcks”.

Hindi naman sa pagbubuhat ng sarili kong upuan (pero parang ganun na din), madalas akong mapuri sa aking pananamit.  Ordinaryo na sakin ang masabihan ng “nice outfit” o kaya naman ay “ you look fab”. Minsan nga pakiramdam ko eh iniinsulto na ko ng ibang tao dahil kahit simpleng white tee at fitted jeans lang ang suot ko, nadidinig ko pa rin ang mga ganung kataga. Naisabuhay ko yata kasi ang America’s Next Top Model, Para kong adik na ang tingin ko kay Tyra Banks  ay parang Si Chef Sandy Daza  sa tuwing nagtuturo sya ng mga pointers sa pagululuto. Dito ako nakakuha ng mga ideya sa tamang pananamit at isama mo narin ang gawing inspirasyon ang ilan sa aking mga paboritong star personalities like Jennifer Lawrence, Alexa Chung, Kirsten Dunst  at siyempre pa si Miley Cyrus (Take note, nagustuhan ko si miley mula nung nagbagong image sya, edgy + astig hairstyle).

 Casual Chic – yan ang aking forte, natutunan kong mag mix n match at mag color blocking, kapag plain ang aking suot, Loud accessories ang ipapartner ko, Pero most of the time I like to play it plain and simple. Less is more ika nga. Kaya ganun na lamang ang aking paghagalpak nung Makita ko yung outfit ni badette na nagpaalala din sakin sa kurtina ng PVP Liner Bus.

Siguro nga’y angat ako kay badette sa ibang bagay pero hindi ibig sabihin nun eh ako na ang bida! dahil kung gayon man, hindi ko na sana isinulat ang blog na ito.

Sanay din naman syang pumustura, sablay lang siguro nung nakipag afternoon date sya! Ang forte ni badette ay glam punk. Effortless sya pag ganyang tema.

Inuuri din ni badette ang bawat itsura ko. Madameng get together at okasyon na ang pinagsamahan namin at asahan mo na ang lahat ng yun ay tunggalian ng outfit naming dalawa! (Lamang ako dati pero ngayong nag gain ako ng timbang, lumalaban at bumabawi na si badette). Madalas din kaming magkahulihan ng tingin ng may ngiti, alam naman namin sa mga sarili namin na ang mga tinginang iyon  ay may halong pagmamatyag.

RIVALRY. Yan ang pinagsimulan ng lahat. Rivalry sa madameng bagay na kung iisa isahin ko eh baka malaman nyu na ang totoong pagkakakilanlan ng aking katunggaling si Badette.

Sa totoo lang may pinagsamahan din naman kami ni Badette. Ilang beses na naming napatunayan na halos magkamukha kami ng hilig sa madameng bagay. Mas liberated at agresibo lamang sya kesa sa kin. Kung ako ay frustrated model, si badette ay may reputasyon ng pagiging frustrated hooker/bitch. Matunog ang pangalan nya sa aming lugar sa larangan ng pagiging hitad, at ang nakakatawa dun, sya ay self proclaimed flirt. Sa kabila nito,  Madami din ang nahumaling sa kanya, mas madami sa mga naging boyfriend ko….ng seryoso.

Malayo sa hinagap ko na ipakilala ang aking sarili na kagaya ng kay badette. Sa pag uugali, malaki ang pinagka iba namin. Siya yung tipo na walang pakialam sa sinasabe ng iba at proud pa na matawag na alembong. Ako naman ay takot ma –labelan ng ganung marka. Sa kategoryang “Classy” ko hangad mapabilang. Ngunit may parte sa aking loob ang marahil nais maging gaya nya. May mga nakikita akong kulang sakin na nag uumapaw kay badette. Pihadong may kakulangan din sya s kanyang personalidad na marahil ay sobra naman sakin. 

Alam ko na hindi mabuting gawa ang ikumpara ang sarili sa kapwa. Pero hindi naman dahil ganyan  ang isang tao eh kampon na sya ng kasamaan. Tingnan natin  sa positibong aspeto. Sa aking halimbawa, Hindi ko ginagawa ito para ibaba ang pagkatao ni badette, sabihin na lang natin na sya ang aking “motivating Force” para hindi ma stuck sa typical na ako lang, o pwede ko bang sabihin na hindi lang talaga ko magpapakabog?

Para sayo badette, Alam kong binabasa mo to, wag kang anu jan! pasasaan ba’t sigurado kong gagawa ka din ng sarili mong blog site! Isa lang sana ang request ko, Let’s keep the competition Healthy! :)

OUR SWEET ESCAPE

And because of some holiday celebration here in Abu Dhabi, My husband and I had a Two-Day off just recently.

It's our chance to relax and shake out our stress and exhaustion from work, to run away from our worries and troubles! At the same time, it is also our chance to cope with our shortcomings as couples.

Our plan is to get a refreshing splash in a beach nearby, which we usually do whenever we have free time to share together, we’re beach buddies.  

I mean, we can hang out  there the whole day just wading in the seashore. We love walking in the sand while a slight surge of water is soaking our feet.  I don’t know but there’s a feeling of calmness. Just by staring at the wide range of blue water is breathtaking, like as if its boundless and would make you wonder what lies beyond the border. 

Anyways, we woke up early and geared up ourselves, both excited and overjoyed!

Here are some photos to give you an idea what took place on that ohh sooo happy day!!!

Thank you lord for giving us the chance to witness and enjoy your wonderful creation:

(Sunbathing bed is waiting for us)

 Some delectable’s to fuel our body and soul:

(In this photo are)

a.     Pork Adobo - My husband's favorite

b.     Hotdogs -  Just a quick fix!

c.      Milk bread

d.     Mayo & Egg Spread

e.     Grilled fish stuffed with tomato, onions & other spices

f.      Steam Rice

(There’s also some fish crackers and soda’s  but weren’t included in the picture)

My husband wrote our names in the sand and too bad its not as clear as it should be  

(it’s supposed to be JARREL & LESLEY)

The rectangular woodwork is the open cottage where you can rest and put all your stuffs

Instead of resting in the cottage, my husband preferred to lay down in the sand!!!

Me posing at the cottage!!!

There were birds playing with us ... so adorable!

Headed for some water dippin’
( didn't wear my swimsuit today because its freezing cold :P )

That magical moment when you’re hand in hand with your partner while the soft glowing light from the sky sets down when the sun is below the horizon.

It's days like this when you just want to stop the time and get stuck in that magnificent moment :)

'til our next beach visit!

WEARING MY HEART OUT ON MY SLEEVE

(So Here I am again making another attempt to write a blog after a couple of months of being stuck and lazy)

Being raised in a rustic town  surrounded with old-fashioned people living in their traditional faith, I grew up in full belief that women (and men) with tattoo is synonymous to being a hooker, a convicted prisoner, a member of any villain gangster, a thug or anything alike to those categories.

My parents are the usual conservative type. My father  doesn’t have any ink markings on his body, and so as I my mother.  I can still recall how they disapprove the appearance of a well known personality embroidered with tattoos on his arms  while watching our favorite TV program. Those conversations have somewhat sink in to me and growing up, my interpretation  of having a tattoo is  something that  won’t make you look presentable and would instead make you look like a person who is “up to no good”. To have a tattoo visible to others is like openly giving an idea that you have a bad reputation, someone that wont gain respect from others. This kind of judgment lasted while I was still a child.

It’s a sudden change of heart for me.

And so I realized that any person has liberty and can freely decide if he/ she wants to be tatted and  marked permanently with ink. It’s their right and it’s their body anyways. Whether we like it or not, our option is to just respect their rights or to just be negative critics.

A tattoo doesn't define you as a human being, your character does. I mean for instance, there's this person tatted all  over his body and another person looking so damn clean and neat and presentable, a homeless man approach for help  and between the tatted dude & Mr. Presentable looking oh so fine, the guy portraying a bad a$$ image on the outside willingly and wholeheartedly help the vagabond. See? Physical appearance shouldn't always be a reference.  

 A tattoo is an expression of love for people so dear to us, for people we respect and to whoever we want to give tribute to. It is a representation of something precious and it doesn't necessarily represent  how pleasing you are as a person.  It is instead individuality and boldness and I don’t see anything wrong with those.

I am now a buff  who appreciate the beauty and the art of a tattoo. I guess I am just being open minded and receptive to what currently exists in our modern society.

And so I decided to get inked on my left wrist. It is to represent the love I have for my daughter and to signify the fulfilling pleasure of being a mother.

Here, take a look  at some of my photos while on session:

He started with the outline

FAITH is the name of my daughter and the unfinished outline signifies a mother and daughter  embracing each other. cute isnt it? :)

It's painful at first, but it's bearable :)

The finish product! small in size but it deeply means a lot!

And though some others are still “condemning” me for getting inked, I am amazed that most of the people around me appreciate my ink markings. They find it awesome and brave. :)