A MIRROR THAT REFLECTS TRUE BEAUTY

Visible dark circles under my eyes, forming lines…  must be wrinkles! 3 medium size pimples on my forehead, looking like it's due to pop out any moment. Another one on my left cheek, almost healed and is now peeling off. These are  some of the ghastly details visible in my face while staring at the mirror.

My lips’ fine. It must be the canola-honey balm stick ( Gifted to me from Korea) that’s keeping it supple despite the heavy nicotine it endures since I’m back into smoking again…  You can tell that its slightly burned. But that doesn’t stop me from lightin’’ up one stick of my Esse menthol, I puffed the filter, gasp a bit and finally release the remaining smoke produced in my mouth.

While puffing my cigarette, I am still staring at the reflection in the mirror .. This time focusing on the nose part. It looks good. There’s nothing much going on.

I put down my cigarette for a while on an ashtray beside me and went back to my business of inspecting my appearance.

My eye brows’ quite messy.  I had it shaped thru “ threading” last month, a Moroccan lady did it and cost me AED 20 in return. She’s an expert in shaping brows. Now there’s already  growing hair in some areas.  I reached for my tweezers and began pulling the unwanted hairs one by one until it's back on its clean shape.

My hair looks healthy and awesome. Had it cut, styled & dyed in loud color just recently, seeing my hair nice & flowing sends a smile on my face. “you gooow girl!!” in my mind, now I’m smirking.

I touched my face & there's some rough areas around, dry skin it is!

I can tell that the “piercing” stares of my eyes is ratifying how exhausted the person is in front of the mirror. Long hours & stressed at work, financial matters, relationship etc. etc.  are few of my many daily struggles in life and I guess this contributes big time to my poor outward appearance.

A one on one encounter with myself in the mirror is somewhat creepy, weird and crazy. It made me realize a lot of things. Like I am getting old, looking less attractive, losing my confidence based on my physical attributes. But above this, it made me realize that,  “That woman in the mirror who lose her charm & physical beauty have gone through so much in life, been beaten out with misfortunes but she remain tough, she is still breathing, fiercer than ever. That woman is me.

Changes in our physical appearance as we grow old is inevitable. Every little details in our face & body  will change in due time, physical beauty has its expiration. But the beauty & strength  we have within, that's natural, therefore its everlasting. That’s what we need to keep and emanate because it gives a blooming reflection outside, that’s real beauty.

I am a beautiful person  because God made me that way. :)

I do not own any on this video. no copyright infringement intended

WISHIN' FOR DOPEY DAYS TO BE OVER

Heavyhearted.

I don’t know what's with me but I feel so tired, lazy, heavy, sluggish , tardy & other words that are synonymous.

I'm a buzzer beater. My bus service is passing by my place at 0625-0630 in the morning daily and because I woke up late,  got  almost left behind . I am thinking maybe the bus driver is sooo irked at me cuz for five days now, he’s waiting with no choice in our pick up area. Taking taxi is not reasonable. It will cost me around AED 30-35 which could have been my meal allowance for the whole day.

While seated on the first row of the bus, I began to recollect... the past days have been so complex.

* Cai is coming 2 weeks from now so we have to transfer to a bigger flat. Finding a new place is arduous for me cuz I have to do it while at work, browsing online for possible prospects, contact the owner, negotiate with them and after work I need to drop by to check the place in actual. Can you imagine the stress of joggling work (11 hours a day) while searching for a new home and the feeling of being pressured  because we need to transfer immediately?

*   *The land lady in the flat where I am currently living is acting so damn shoddy that I've

already  reached the point where I just want to punch her face and  clog her mouth with used socks soaked with disinfectant because she won’t stop talking!!! She was so pissed when I told her that I will transfer to a new abode, then her other tenants started to inform her too that they will also relocate.  D f*ck is wrong with that granny dressin’ like a slut?! Its not like as if I told her tenants to leave along with me too?!

 And because my parents taught me not to argue specially with people of older age(s), here I am sitting with my mouth shut J I didn’t fight back, didn’t revert even once to her cursed words, All she see is my faux angelic face & A strained sweet smile in front of her, feigning to be receptive to all her demonic talk . but in my mind I just want to brutally hurt her. Oh dear lord forgive me but she’s giving me so much stress!

* And yes, my husband and I had initially moved some of our stuffs to our new flat. We were porters for 2 nights now and that made me sooo tired L We have other stuffs to haul and we’re doing it tonight.. aghhh

d    *Alarmed of my ever increasing weight. I want to do running & biking again(which I did last year) cuz it indeed made me all toned up. But because of my laziness, I just don’t want to do it.

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‘Em .. praying that tomorrow will be a bright day for me.
<photo borrowed from google>

JEALOUS OF HUBBY'S KD 5?

And so my husband is soooo awestruck with his new ballmate!!!

And because its his first payday, he treat his self with this KD 5 (Kevin Durant?) basketball shoes.

I feel happy seeing him so overjoyed owning a pair of it! But part of me is agitated because I know that this new shoes will make him play basketball  more often. Do I sound selfish? hahaha! I just hope he will consider  that  our hectic work schedule wont allow us to see each other and bond regularly.

Our rest day's every Friday and its our only chance to talk to share stories to joke & play around as couple but since he has this new shoes to show off, I bet this will steal our bonding moment. In fact he's officially teamed up with other Filipinos here in Abu Dhabi to play in a Tourna. Ughh, Should I throw his KD5?

yeah right, it's me talking nonsense again :P

TO THE MAN WHO STOLE MY HEART

As I look back over the past ten years, I remember how unprepared we were to face married life. The only thing that we are sure by that time is the feeling of wanting & loving each other. We don’t know what lies ahead, ALL WE KNOW IS THAT WHATEVER THE FUTURE HOLD, WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER.

I must say that living’ together hasn’t always been easy.  I mean, every relationship has its own taste of sourness, who’s to say theirs was perfectly sweet?  The word “mismatched” would perhaps describe us as a couple. WE ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE. You are a teaser and I am the sensitive type, I easily get mad when you play around. I talk too much and you are the kind who won't say a word most especially during our arguments. I am always ready for a debate and I am always expecting you to roar back at me but you are the type who won't shed an explanation. Despite all of this, we are so willing to accept our differences. Love is always there to give balance and to fill in our incompatibilities.

We’ve been through hard times, we’ve experienced joys, we’ve shared laughter & pains, and we’ve had our ups & downs, LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT…BUT IT’S BEAUTIFUL.  We were blessed to have an amazing, beautiful child (the most precious gift we received from God). Our love has grown deeper with each passing year and it’s been a decade full of true love, happiness and lessons in life.

We may be clueless of what the next ten years would bring but as we walk down that road, I promise to always be right there to hold your hand, to be as resilient as I can when we walk through the stumbling blocks, to be the source of your strength when you’re frail, to be more patient, understanding, to always be there for you at all times. I promise to be the best mother I can be to our child and to be all you need as a wife and as a partner in life.

I will always want you, I will always love you.