NEW HOPE IS DAWNING

I woke up today at  5:00am.

A Good start to my morning is a cup of hot black coffee so I immediately grab the coffee maker, plug it on and wait for my  brewed to be ready.

I felt cold and noticed that My window's misting up.  A/C's set to 16' degree, wearing only an oversized white shirt & a  boyleg short  almost freeze me to death so I shut off the A/C.

I poured my coffee on my fave cup, stir it  a bit while standing on the right window corner .  Its already 5:12am and it is still dark outside.

The view from the 9th floor of the building where I currently reside showcases the east-west side of Abu Dhabi City. All you can see are tall buildings  in different shapes and futuristic designs. my favorite is the Domain skyscraper located right in the middle  & is being surrounded by semi tall buildings. It is a stunning attraction, three spires standing tall (tallest in the middle)  with bright fancy lights all over it. Next is the etisalat tower designed with a huge  golf ball like stuff on its top. Its majestic! My eyes are widely awakened by those beautiful buildings….its really an amazing view up here.

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I was slightly blinded by the flashing lights of cars and other vehicles passing by the main road. It’s a busy street down there. It is still early but  many people are already walking down and on their way to work or to wherever they are bound to go.

This is the life of most expatriates here in Abu Dhabi, waking up early to prepare for  8-12 hours work,  go home in the afternoon, cook for dinner (Left overs are for breakfast the next day & still might be a packed food for lunch.). If we have time some of us will browse online to check out the latest happenings back home, others would watch their fave telenovelas. As for me, I’d usually hop in to the room of my friends for a small chit chat, joke around and get some good laughs.

I checked on the time and its already five past six, I'm sippin' my coffee, puffing a cigarette.  It is time for me to head for shower cuz  the bus service will pick me up at 0625am.

It’s a different day today. There’s a feeling of peace, calmness & assurance. A new hope is dawning.

I’m smiling big today!

A MIRROR THAT REFLECTS TRUE BEAUTY

Visible dark circles under my eyes, forming lines…  must be wrinkles! 3 medium size pimples on my forehead, looking like it's due to pop out any moment. Another one on my left cheek, almost healed and is now peeling off. These are  some of the ghastly details visible in my face while staring at the mirror.

My lips’ fine. It must be the canola-honey balm stick ( Gifted to me from Korea) that’s keeping it supple despite the heavy nicotine it endures since I’m back into smoking again…  You can tell that its slightly burned. But that doesn’t stop me from lightin’’ up one stick of my Esse menthol, I puffed the filter, gasp a bit and finally release the remaining smoke produced in my mouth.

While puffing my cigarette, I am still staring at the reflection in the mirror .. This time focusing on the nose part. It looks good. There’s nothing much going on.

I put down my cigarette for a while on an ashtray beside me and went back to my business of inspecting my appearance.

My eye brows’ quite messy.  I had it shaped thru “ threading” last month, a Moroccan lady did it and cost me AED 20 in return. She’s an expert in shaping brows. Now there’s already  growing hair in some areas.  I reached for my tweezers and began pulling the unwanted hairs one by one until it's back on its clean shape.

My hair looks healthy and awesome. Had it cut, styled & dyed in loud color just recently, seeing my hair nice & flowing sends a smile on my face. “you gooow girl!!” in my mind, now I’m smirking.

I touched my face & there's some rough areas around, dry skin it is!

I can tell that the “piercing” stares of my eyes is ratifying how exhausted the person is in front of the mirror. Long hours & stressed at work, financial matters, relationship etc. etc.  are few of my many daily struggles in life and I guess this contributes big time to my poor outward appearance.

A one on one encounter with myself in the mirror is somewhat creepy, weird and crazy. It made me realize a lot of things. Like I am getting old, looking less attractive, losing my confidence based on my physical attributes. But above this, it made me realize that,  “That woman in the mirror who lose her charm & physical beauty have gone through so much in life, been beaten out with misfortunes but she remain tough, she is still breathing, fiercer than ever. That woman is me.

Changes in our physical appearance as we grow old is inevitable. Every little details in our face & body  will change in due time, physical beauty has its expiration. But the beauty & strength  we have within, that's natural, therefore its everlasting. That’s what we need to keep and emanate because it gives a blooming reflection outside, that’s real beauty.

I am a beautiful person  because God made me that way. :)

I do not own any on this video. no copyright infringement intended

WISHIN' FOR DOPEY DAYS TO BE OVER

Heavyhearted.

I don’t know what's with me but I feel so tired, lazy, heavy, sluggish , tardy & other words that are synonymous.

I'm a buzzer beater. My bus service is passing by my place at 0625-0630 in the morning daily and because I woke up late,  got  almost left behind . I am thinking maybe the bus driver is sooo irked at me cuz for five days now, he’s waiting with no choice in our pick up area. Taking taxi is not reasonable. It will cost me around AED 30-35 which could have been my meal allowance for the whole day.

While seated on the first row of the bus, I began to recollect... the past days have been so complex.

* Cai is coming 2 weeks from now so we have to transfer to a bigger flat. Finding a new place is arduous for me cuz I have to do it while at work, browsing online for possible prospects, contact the owner, negotiate with them and after work I need to drop by to check the place in actual. Can you imagine the stress of joggling work (11 hours a day) while searching for a new home and the feeling of being pressured  because we need to transfer immediately?

*   *The land lady in the flat where I am currently living is acting so damn shoddy that I've

already  reached the point where I just want to punch her face and  clog her mouth with used socks soaked with disinfectant because she won’t stop talking!!! She was so pissed when I told her that I will transfer to a new abode, then her other tenants started to inform her too that they will also relocate.  D f*ck is wrong with that granny dressin’ like a slut?! Its not like as if I told her tenants to leave along with me too?!

 And because my parents taught me not to argue specially with people of older age(s), here I am sitting with my mouth shut J I didn’t fight back, didn’t revert even once to her cursed words, All she see is my faux angelic face & A strained sweet smile in front of her, feigning to be receptive to all her demonic talk . but in my mind I just want to brutally hurt her. Oh dear lord forgive me but she’s giving me so much stress!

* And yes, my husband and I had initially moved some of our stuffs to our new flat. We were porters for 2 nights now and that made me sooo tired L We have other stuffs to haul and we’re doing it tonight.. aghhh

d    *Alarmed of my ever increasing weight. I want to do running & biking again(which I did last year) cuz it indeed made me all toned up. But because of my laziness, I just don’t want to do it.

THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and do not wish for it appear on this site, please E-mail with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.

‘Em .. praying that tomorrow will be a bright day for me.
<photo borrowed from google>

JEALOUS OF HUBBY'S KD 5?

And so my husband is soooo awestruck with his new ballmate!!!

And because its his first payday, he treat his self with this KD 5 (Kevin Durant?) basketball shoes.

I feel happy seeing him so overjoyed owning a pair of it! But part of me is agitated because I know that this new shoes will make him play basketball  more often. Do I sound selfish? hahaha! I just hope he will consider  that  our hectic work schedule wont allow us to see each other and bond regularly.

Our rest day's every Friday and its our only chance to talk to share stories to joke & play around as couple but since he has this new shoes to show off, I bet this will steal our bonding moment. In fact he's officially teamed up with other Filipinos here in Abu Dhabi to play in a Tourna. Ughh, Should I throw his KD5?

yeah right, it's me talking nonsense again :P

TO THE MAN WHO STOLE MY HEART

As I look back over the past ten years, I remember how unprepared we were to face married life. The only thing that we are sure by that time is the feeling of wanting & loving each other. We don’t know what lies ahead, ALL WE KNOW IS THAT WHATEVER THE FUTURE HOLD, WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER.

I must say that living’ together hasn’t always been easy.  I mean, every relationship has its own taste of sourness, who’s to say theirs was perfectly sweet?  The word “mismatched” would perhaps describe us as a couple. WE ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE. You are a teaser and I am the sensitive type, I easily get mad when you play around. I talk too much and you are the kind who won't say a word most especially during our arguments. I am always ready for a debate and I am always expecting you to roar back at me but you are the type who won't shed an explanation. Despite all of this, we are so willing to accept our differences. Love is always there to give balance and to fill in our incompatibilities.

We’ve been through hard times, we’ve experienced joys, we’ve shared laughter & pains, and we’ve had our ups & downs, LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT…BUT IT’S BEAUTIFUL.  We were blessed to have an amazing, beautiful child (the most precious gift we received from God). Our love has grown deeper with each passing year and it’s been a decade full of true love, happiness and lessons in life.

We may be clueless of what the next ten years would bring but as we walk down that road, I promise to always be right there to hold your hand, to be as resilient as I can when we walk through the stumbling blocks, to be the source of your strength when you’re frail, to be more patient, understanding, to always be there for you at all times. I promise to be the best mother I can be to our child and to be all you need as a wife and as a partner in life.

I will always want you, I will always love you.

THE "IMELDA" IN ME

I was not born well heeled. In fact, I came from an underprivileged family.  My father is a laborer while my mother is an embroiderer, I am the eldest, I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me.

Combining both my parents’ wages, our family could only afford to pay for our daily meal and nothing more back in the day. Having a very limited income made me & my sister to have very limited stuffs like clothes, toys, shoes etc. I could still remember how my mother will gather all the scrapped fabric from her work so she could sew for us some casual dresses as we can’t afford to buy a ready-made. Our shoes were mostly used ones, those that were “donated” from my cousins & neighbors.

I was an ordinary kid. I grew up with some friends from the neighborhood and classmates at school. I love to play and hang out with them.  School programs, birthday parties, social gatherings, various events & activities etc… that’s what I love the most when I was still a child, it excite me! I love to check out what others are wearing whenever there’s activity at school or if there’s any celebration. I am an extrovert.

I have this huge fascination for shoes. I don’t know why but my eyes “gleams” the most on any pair of new shoes, especially flat ones designed with simplicity & elegance.

I love Cinderella and her glass shoe that shines like crystals, it inspired me knowing that the essence of her story is about a girl who finds her way from rags to riches.

I love Mrs.  Marcos and her more than a hundred pair of shoes. I love her grandiosity & charm; I love her as a woman. Although I despise the possibility that she spent the money of the Filipinos for her lavish lifestyle.

My father & mother were my best mentors & advice givers. They were the best for making me understand that though glamour may be impossible for me back then because of our financial condition, there will come a day when all the shoes I want can be easily mine  through perseverance and hard work. Infact, I am always told that anything I want in life can be mine if I work for it with determination and unfailing faith. That’s when I told myself that when I grow up, I will buy every shoe that I can afford to buy!

I went to high school & managed to graduate college using the same & only pair of shoes I have and that same shoes I wore the first time I landed myself a job. On my first pay day, I scored myself with a black ballerina flats from Parisian Junior. I can’t contain myself with happiness! From that day that I have my own source of income, I pampered myself with every pair of shoes that I can afford to buy.

Today, I have 42 pairs (to be exact) of shoes (in different average brands, nothing extravagant), Please don’t misconstrue that I am bragging about it, that’s not what I intend to do.  It just came to me & was reminded that I was once a child with a “little Imelda” in my heart for being so awestruck with shoes… but was unlucky & deprived to own enough pairs of it.

And unlike with other’s denunciation to the former First Lady (on how she acquired her luxurious shoe collection) I worked doggedly to pay for every cent of the shoes I own. :)

mixed pairs

one of my fave open-toe flats

comfy

wedge & sexy

sporty

smart casual

newest member 

soon to come, my latest prospect

all time fave

TO MY DEAR NANAY

While looking at this picture, I caught myself draped with mixed feelings.

This photo was taken last month when I went home for vacation. I was laughing to myself when I noticed how funny my face was while I’m giving you a kiss. I was in the mood of joking with you that time, playing and goofing around. We were laughing all day. It was one of my cherished and happiest days.

Glancing at your face, I began to notice how time has taken your youth & how your illness (which you’ve suffered from for more than a year now) has stolen your former glow. That’s when I felt a sudden twinge in my heart. The smile on my face has been replaced with melancholy.

 I felt the guilt of not being there to take care of you becauseI can’t remember a day that you’re not there for me especially during hard times.

I may not be with you everyday but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care for you at all. Though distance may keep us apart, Lord knows how hard I pray each and every single day for your fast recovery, for everyday protection and for a lengthened life to be showered upon you. 

Through praying I find real comfort, this is the best way I know to express how much you mean to me and how much I care about you, There’s never a day that I don’t think of you, you are in my mind and in my heart every single day of my life.

I love you and I am so blessed to have you as my mother.